Path of determination

When I was younger I took pride
In determined pursuit 

Of perverse ideas about virtue
That could stop my fear
Dead in its tracks
Because I'm doing what's right 
And if at first you don’t succeed
And love conquers all
And so on and so on.

But in time the bright colours
Of wide-eyed ideals
Bled together 
Became a grim-faced, grey stare 
At a dog-eat-dog world
Where strength survives
And the victor gets the spoils
So change of plans then 
To rush head down at fears
Throw my weight, knock them aside

A bigger dog now

But in time
Notions of winning 

Were hardened by anger
Because the best defense is a strong offense
And you don’t get mad you get even
And it’s every man for himself
And I watched as my anger fattened
On rotting grapes 
Until the day it staggered up and flexed
Turned toward my fears 

promised them safety 
And the two ran off and last I heard

They're still with each other to this day. 



BK

Panic disorder

You can be forgiven,
but for me,
concrete walls will scream
and shake angry slab fingers
in a tragic collapse
from the weight of my fault

under a sickening light of shame

revealing me 

outwardly unscathed

undeserving of pity
carpet-called, right now!
reprimanded angrily
subject of dark disappointment
You unfit oddball
You don’t belong!
See, right here

you forgot something. 


BK

Tilting Into It 

A little scary
the iffy control we have
on the trajectory
of our minds
And those remote controls
are terrible:
clinical, chemical, religious, telemetry 

Like crude Mars probes

that thunk down

somewhere

lost on our surface someplace 

who knows where

more scattered debris 

for the collection.

Or they miss altogether 

though we’re not that far away...
or even all that complicated
we're more like
those old tilting marble and maze games

with the basic knobs
to guide yourself 
away from the bad holes
and into the good ones
which really just gets you

back to Start again

so it never ends.

Ever.

But if you set down the remote controllers

you can get pretty good
at reading the tilts 
and learning to dial 

your own knobs
accordingly.



BK

Some days are just like that

I arrived in today like a wet flag collapsed in rain
Curled inward against the pole 
dripping from corners
onto asphalt 

paving a dangerous world

edgy and precarious
littered with pretty swords

so I take soft lurching steps
past what places might get me
given a chance
fact of life 

be eaten just like that
keep an eye peeled is right bro
against what

I don't know

but for God's sake don't stop looking 

until a dry wind flies the flag again. 


BK

Open Season

Once in a while I feel so good
A tingle press
Inside my chest
And my spirit soars up
Like in sappy songs
But for real it does rise I swear 
And I know it will be fleeting
So I gather up all I can
I've hit a clay pigeon

And that's a good start

It will do for today
But what I really want to do
Is to fly in the sky just like them.


BK

On behalf of mankind

Blessed are the fucked up, for they spend serious energy trying to figure out what the hell's going on.


BK

Olive Jar

We are like pimento olives
Packed so tight 

Together in the jar
That we shape one another
Eyes pressed to the glass
Looking out and wondering
Why there doesn't seem to be
Anyone out there like us. 



BK